By Eliza Wing
Remember that old comedy sketch “here comes the judge, here comes the judge”? NO??? Well it was 1968. Definitely dating myself here. According the internet, it was one of the first comedy memes. In any case, it’s just a light-heart way to acknowledge that most of us are judging all the time. We are either judging ourselves or others. Or an experience. Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, one of the earliest western, secular methodologies for mindfulness training defined mindfulness as:
Awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally.
Non-judgement is so important to the concept of mindfulness that it is in the very definition. Why? Think about it. The minute we begin to label (judge) our experience, we are distancing ourselves from it, turning it into a story about ourselves and our relationship to the experience rather than being IN the experience.
You can try this little exercise… next time you sit in meditation and an uncomfortable body sensation comes up, rather than shifting to make yourself more comfortable, try to allow the sensation to arise. And then note how it is if you begin to judge it. I don’t like this. This hurts, tickles, itches, etc. Can you see how the act of judging actually exacerbates the unpleasant experience? Now, try to stay with the sensation as pure sensation — feel how it is just right now in your body. You can say things like “pressure” “heat”, etc. You will notice an emotional lessening, a sense of fluidity and change. You can apply this simple exercise to almost any aspect of your life.
But you say — we need to judge things! We have to be able to see things and make decisions accordingly. Yes, of course. But here is where the difference between judgement and discernment comes in. Discernment is a knowing that is not layered with narratives that cloud the mind. Case in point…. I am going to the store to buy apples. I know I want organic apples and I hope to find some on sale. I get to the apple section (because, yes, there are many apples in my lucky, lovely supermarket and I am grateful for the variety) and am reaching for the apples that I see are the ones I want when a woman clatters over with too many arm bracelets (judgement!) and begins to load her cart with more than a dozen shiny very expensive apples. My mind begins with her bracelets and very quickly judges her for not choosing organics, for having a cart loaded with flowers and expensive meats and more. I begin to worry about my own finances. I feel separate from her and angry. It takes only a moment to get to this place if you are not aware of your mindstream.
It is only human to judge and categorize. As always, the key is to be aware of your relation to the world and beings around you. See if you can’t pull back just a bit and hold life more lightly — live with less fear and separation.