Most of us tend to consider our brains as the great conductor of this symphony we call our life. Yet science reveals that there is much more at play. Our vagus nerve, which wanders its way through much of our body and impacts our mood, digestion, breathing, heartrate and immune response is clearly an important player. And our hearts? Once thought to be simple mechanical organs responsible for pumping blood? Turns out that they produce tons of neurotransmitters once thought to be the exclusive domain of the brain.
So, while we are thinking our way through a problem, ignoring the fact that our heart may have something to say on the matter, we are, in fact, only listening to one instrument in the whole orchestra.
Buddhist philosophy suggests that there are two keys to living life fully – wisdom and compassion. It’s easy to comprehend that compassion has a place in the heart – after all, the idea of compassion evokes emotion. Emotion is the province of the heart. Yes, and… as the improv theater types like to say – the heart also offers wisdom if we would only learn how to listen and even enter into conversation with the heart.
I would argue that we ought to listen to the heart even more than the head. What is the head usually saying? “You should” “that’s not right” “if only” “I wish.” When we are in the throes of a difficult decision what does the head do? Often, it engages in list-making, columns of pros and cons, it spits back imposed expectations and years of absorbed norms.
The heart? It’s a great well of unexamined intelligence – one we can and should turn to for inspiration and transformation. John O’Donohue the late, great Celtic philosopher poet says it this way:
“Because the heart dwells in unattended dark, we often forget its sublime sensitivity to everything that is happening to us. Without our ever noticing, the heart absorbs the joy of things and also their pain and care. Within us, therefore, a burdening can accrue. For this reason, it is wise now and again to tune in to your heart and listen for what it carries.”
What covers over the heart’s true expression? Fear. Shame. Guilt. Where do these thoughts emanate from? You guessed it. The head.
In order to move past these limiting and destructive thoughts, we must enter into the realm of the heart.
Perhaps fear comes up when you consider following our heart’s “desire”. After all, we have been trained since childhood that wanting and acting on our desires is not okay. We must constrain, control, modulate.
Really? Maybe not.
You will never know until you learn how to converse with your heart. You can do this throughout your day. Begin by letting go of thoughts. Physically drop your awareness from your head to your heart. Rest here. Feel the physical sensations in the chest. Allow the sensations to just be. Don’t try to interpret. Usually at this stage, any level of interpretation is taking you right back up into your head.
Now, let’s move from the pure physical sensations into a spacious awareness. Staying with the sense of the heart space, move your awareness to the back of the heart. This is not a physical location – it’s not the spine, the shoulder blades. It is indefinable and may feel empty, unknown, even dark. That’s ok. Just allow your awareness to acknowledge this unexplored space.
It is in this space that you will enter into dialogue with your heart. As with most everything, it helps to start small and easy. So, you can begin by asking small questions like how does it feel to miss a friend? Go to work? If, as you listen for the response, you begin to notice responses like “I should really catch up with her” or “my boss will definitely notice my good work on this project” you are in the head where “I should” and “it will” live. The heart is all present tense. It may be reacting to your thoughts but as you let go of everything but the here and now, as you let it all drop away, you will note the clarity of the heart. Perhaps as you open to the question of being with your friend your heart will resonate with openness and freedom as you think of your friend. Perhaps the heart will constrict and tighten as you think of your boss.
These reactions are all simply to note as you begin to get used to listening to the language of the heart.
You can try this throughout your day; dropping through the mind’s restless stream into the deep pool of the heart.
As you become more attuned to your heart you can ask larger questions and directly address the heart.
Heart-based Inquiry Practice:
Sit quietly in a place you will not be disturbed for the next while and come to a seated position. Bring your awareness to your breath. Rest here for a minute or so, scanning the body for places of tension and tightness. On an exhale, release those areas of tightness just a little, bringing more ease and spaciousness to the entire body.
Now, bring your awareness to your heart space and allow your mind to unhook from any thoughts. If thinking arises, just note “thinking” and come back to the heart.
Now ask your question. This question may arise spontaneously, or you may have pre-formulated it. Either way, allow the question to exist in the space at the back of the heart and listen. Stay in the open, spacious boundless heart. Receive.
You may “hear” a clear response right away. You may not. That’s okay. It takes practice to release from the discursive mind.
You can practice Heart Based Inquiry regularly. The most important conversation of your life is about to begin.