When things invariably become challenging because that is what life is… bumps and swerves, we need to have reserves built up. We need to have a way to both navigate whatever difficulty has come up and we need to have a sense of confidence and resilience. A knowing that, whatever lies ahead, we can and will get through.
We can build our resilience up with two simple practices. The first practice allows us to see that there is space to operate from. That we do not have to get carried away or caught up. That our next thought or action is not inevitable.
We can learn to provide space within our difficult emotions, a gap within our seemingly endless mind stream.
How can we create this gap? By inserting a conscious gap within your day as a matter of routine.
In Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village community, a bell rings every fifteen minutes. At that moment, everyone and everything comes to a stop. It is a moment to practice conscious awareness.
You probably don’t have a bell ringer handy but you can follow a similar practice. The Three Breaths Practice gives you a small, regular opportunity to create a gap in your experience. And to help regulate your mood.
Before you practice Three Breaths, you can take a quick scan of your current state.
Simply stop whatever it is you are doing at the moment.
The breath is a simple and very powerful tool that you can use whenever you need more space or awareness. When you practice the Three Breaths, you can also take note of what sort of breath you need in this moment. Maybe you are feeling stressed – make your exhale longer than your inhale. If you are feeling fear, deepening the inhale can be helpful. Or maybe you are feeling balanced and want to keep inhalations and exhalations of equal length.
You can close your eyes or not. And inhale quietly, paying complete attention to the breath as it begins in the lower body and rises up through the belly, the chest and into the throat. And then quietly exhale, allowing the breath to move out of the body.
By creating this gap in our experience again and again throughout the day, we can begin to see that there is more freedom and space available to us, even in difficult times.
How else might we strengthen our resilience?
By looking no further than within.
Consider the story of Theseus and the Minotaur.
The Minotaur as we remember, was the terrible bull monster buried deep below ground in a dark labyrinth. He demanded a human sacrifice of seven men and seven women each year. One year, the king’s son, Theseus, volunteered to go below ground as one of the sacrifices with the intent to kill the Minotaur.
Before embarking on his journey, Theseus met Princess Ariadne and they fell in love. The Princess decided she would help Theseus and gave him a thread with the instruction to unspool the thread as he made his way through the labyrinth so that he could return home safely.
We can think of this story in relationship to what allows us to face our fears and keeps us going in our darkest times. When we are lost and confused and don’t know what lurks around that dark corner, we can hold onto our thread.
Take a moment now to consider your strengths. In the past when you have faced difficulties what qualities have you brought to bear; what core beliefs and values have carried you through? You can articulate these strengths for yourself.
Now imagine those words becoming your thread and spin them into a beautiful golden thread. You can bring this golden thread up from the souls of your feet through your legs up into your center. Allow the golden thread to rise up your spine all the way to the back of your skull.
This powerful, unbreakable thread runs through you.
And rest in the understanding that you have this tool within you. It is always there. It is an integral part of you.