There is learning in every daily task we do, we just need to remember to STOP what we are doing and observe our body, mind, emotions in the midst of the everyday. This is called Beginner’s Mind in mindfulness circles. With Beginner’s Mind, we bring a fresh and curious approach to the mundane.
Sometimes it takes a shock to wake us up to the importance, even the pleasures of our daily routines. I remember the sudden death of an acquaintance when he was in his early 40’s. He was the father of one of my son’s friends and just a tall, nice smiling guy who clearly loved life and his family. Then, one day, he dropped dead in the shower. That evening, as I did the dishes, the noise of my own family moving around me. I thought – I GET TO DO THE DISHES. And --I get, to take this step, feel this water, touch this surface. The dishes became a tribute to this man and a gift to me as well.
There’s not a routine more normal and fraught than the daily glance in the mirror. We wake, head to the sink for a round of tooth brushing and general, non-specific mirror gazing. Thoughts play through our minds. They might be…. I look tired, I need to remember to make a hair appointment, is that a new chin hair? And so on.
We already know that whatever we think over and over again, becomes hardwired. On the flip side, we also know that we can retrain our brains and forge new neural pathways through regular changes and practices.
What if, each morning when we awoke we practiced some intentional gratitude and compassion for ourselves instead of succumbing to a familiar, critical inner voice? Think of it as if you had a dear old friend whom you haven’t seen in a bit staying with you. How would you greet her? What kind words would you say to her? What if instead of the critical glance, we are able to bring some genuine friendship and appreciation to our familiar face?
Maybe instead of directing a bleary, critical gaze across your features, you can learn to look into your own eyes with care and appreciation for the moment right as it is and for yourself, blessed to be alive, chin hairs and all.
If you want to delve deeper, you can practice this Mirror Gazing exercise to work with your reactions and thoughts as you experience your reflection. People report surprising and moving insights into their self-perception as they do this exercise.
The practice is quite simple: Find a mirror and find a space where you know you won’t be distracted or disturbed. You can begin by closing your eyes and just coming into the moment, focusing on your natural breath. Then open your eyes and gaze into the mirror. Note what your thoughts and feelings are as you look at your face. Continue gazing into the mirror and note the ways in which your perception changes and what thoughts and emotions come to mind. Practice for at least five minutes. After, you can write down any insights that you had. Practicing this for several days in a row is particularly interesting — the experience builds on itself.
The more you look, the more you uncover.