Some years ago, I was having lunch with a close friend who is also an experienced meditator and mindfulness teacher.
“What is the first thought that pops into your head when you wake up?” I asked.
I was wondering because I had decided a few days earlier to really note what my morning thoughts were. And it wasn’t pretty. Some days I woke up and literally groaned. Once I said, “oh shit.” Another day was a little better – I think I said “all right” as my feet hit the floor.
But obviously, none of this was the most inspired or hopeful way to start a day.
My friend took a thoughtful sip of tea…. “It’s never very positive. Usually, just a sort of groan or a sigh.”
I shared my experience. And we both just looked at each other. If this was our experience – two women who take the time every morning to meditate and contemplate – how is it for others?
And… if you start off your day with a groan, a sigh or an expletive, how are you setting yourself up for the rest of the day?
We decided then and there to give ourselves a morning challenge – to be mindful of our morning thoughts and actions and to take the time to create a positive intention for the rest of the day.
After several weeks, I came away feeling calmer, more positive and more refreshed for the rest of my day.
Here are the five things that I found worked for me.
!. Getting up a little earlier.
I’m not talking about an hour, — even fifteen minutes gives you enough time and space to create a more intentional, calm morning. But as the time changes rolls around this fall, why not use that “extra” hour to wake up half an hour earlier?
2. Assess your mind state before you do anything (including getting out of bed)
Are you feeling tired? Slightly agitated? Balanced? Whatever you are noting, you can use your breath even before you get out of bed to achieve a calm, balanced state. If you are feeling sluggish, draw an in breath that is longer than your exhale. So, maybe breathe in for a count of four and out for two. Repeat this for three to four cycles. You should feel the energy begin to flow. If you are feeling agitated you can reverse the count… breathe in for 3-4 counts and out for 6-8. Again, do this for 3-4 cycles. Note how this brings you to a calmer state. If you are feeling neutral just do a 3-4 cycle of balanced, even and conscious breathing.
3. Meditate (do it!)
Having a regular meditation practice, even if it is just 8-10 minutes a day is proven to increase your resilience and calm. Set up a meditation space that is quiet and soothing. It can be as simple as a cushion or a chair in the corner of a room. Make sure your phone is off and that you can be undisturbed for the allotted time
If you are looking for a simple introduction to meditation, check out my book, Just Breathe. Try to stick to a daily meditation practice. But if for some reason you miss a day no worries – just return to the practice the following day.
I use the Insight Meditation Timer app (it’s free) to time my meditations.
4. Contemplative reading and journaling
Maybe you have noticed that so far NONE of the steps to a calm morning include checking your phone or computer? That may be the most difficult part of this new routine – we are so used to making sure “nothing happened” overnight. Rest assured. Stuff did happen. But it’s probably not going to be so earth-shattering or life-changing that another 15 minutes away from your screens is going to alter the course of your life (or, let’s be honest, even your day).
Starting your day off by reading something meaningful and contemplative really helps set the tone for the rest of your day. It gives your mind and your heart space to just “be” – to think without expectation from anyone else; to explore.
Here are some books that I keep for just this moment:
Thoreau’s unabridged journals; Mary Oliver’s poems, Seven Thousand Ways to Listen by Mark Nepo; Consolations by David Whyte.
Whether the reading spurs a thought or not, take a few moments to write in your journal (you have a journal don’t you?:)
You can write whatever you feel like of course but writing down an intention for your day is a nice way to start the rest of the day.
5. Gratitude
Either in your journal or just to yourself -- state one thing that you are already grateful for this morning. It could be something as simple as the feel of the pen in your hand, or the glimpse of the sky through the window. Whatever it is, take note and give thanks. Give thanks to yourself for this intentional, calm start to your day.
Take several quiet breaths and move slowly from your seated position, to standing. Center yourself. It’s time to begin….
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